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LFW Message Board Glossary 17:05 - Aug 29 with 37728 viewsNorthernr

"The pay-as-you-play deal" - whenever a potential signing is rumoured or suggested who is obviously a) too fcking old, b) too fcking expensive, c) qualifying for a hip replacement on the NHS, d) one of life's genuine arseholes who's blown up every dressing room he's ever been in, instead of dismissing the idea out of hand one is duty bound to suggest a pay-as-you-play deal. That he wouldn't accept this, and that this doesn't really exist, is irrelevant.

"Digging down" - whenever discussing the merits of a new stadium, of trying to redevelop the one we already have, one is duty bound to suggest digging Loftus Road down into the ground. The fact this would also dig it down into the water table and effectively create a world leading water polo venue for a good six months a year is also irrelevant. Will also accept "building out over South Africa Road" and "adding a revolving restaurant".

"Les was crap to start with as well" - whenever debating the ability or otherwise of a new striker, due consideration must always be given to the fact Les Ferdinand was total dog sht when he first got here. Please see three years of Conor Washington debate, or 17 pages (and counting) on Lyndon Dykes' move to Birmingham.

...

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 17:14 - Aug 29 with 14240 viewsAntti_Heinola

'He's not playing in his proper position' as an excuse for a player playing in a very slightly different part of the pitch, and trying to cover up for basic things like not being able to trap a ball.

Bare bones.

5

LFW Message Board Glossary on 17:16 - Aug 29 with 14203 viewsBklynRanger

"These guys don't do failure" upon arrival or rumoured interest from any shiny new semi-qualified business charlatan(s) in a suit with £500 worth of nectar points to throw our way.
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 17:17 - Aug 29 with 14160 viewsLblock

He’s not getting the service…..

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 17:28 - Aug 29 with 14025 viewsstevec

‘Mental health issues’ whenever a player is a little too fond of a pint/cocaine/clubbing/skipping training or generally taking the piss out of the club and supporters.
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 17:48 - Aug 29 with 13961 viewsBrianMcCarthy

'If there wasn't something wrong with him, he wouldn't be here".

"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
Poll: Player of the Year (so far)

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 17:59 - Aug 29 with 13866 viewsrbee

''We coached the ability out of him''
4

LFW Message Board Glossary on 18:02 - Aug 29 with 13858 viewsted_hendrix

"It's all about OPINIONS"

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

7

LFW Message Board Glossary on 18:06 - Aug 29 with 13801 viewsSuperhoop83

"He brings the ball under his spell" - A footballer traps a 10 yard pass.

"He hit it too well if anything" - He missed, badly.

"Legends will be written tonight" - No, they won't.

Suffering since 1978.

4

LFW Message Board Glossary on 18:10 - Aug 29 with 13770 viewscolinallcars

There's a good player in there somewhere.
5

(No subject) (n/t) on 18:14 - Aug 29 with 13735 viewsDannyPaddox

Remy. Will he be available for the play-offs?
[Post edited 29 Aug 18:17]
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 18:15 - Aug 29 with 13736 viewsnix

'Chelsea have had a good transfer window.'

They've bought up anyone who has been mentioned as agitating for a move in one of the major European leagues and now have to build a new training ground to accommodate all of the squad while their press department writes urgent articles round the clock about how useful Sterling would be at Arsenal/Man U.

'It caught the guy in the shin but he's not that kind of player to do it deliberately'

Said about any reckless tackle committed by a player from a club that has a lot of fans who watch Sky.
[Post edited 29 Aug 18:18]
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 18:17 - Aug 29 with 13713 viewsJuzzie

"Can't we just buy up all the houses in Ellerslie Road and the school at the School end too" - Sure, if you fancy committing something like £75m+ just to buy all the flats (please remember, they are flats, not houses)/school and having to deal with hundreds of leaseholders, landlords/freeholders, solicitors which would take probably years to get over the line and all of that is before you even then take into account demolition and removal costs. - same subject matter as per "digging down".
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 18:26 - Aug 29 with 13591 viewsdutch

Stilton
10

LFW Message Board Glossary on 18:26 - Aug 29 with 13580 viewsqprxtc

He’s lost the dressing room.

Even though there’s a sign on the door.
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 18:38 - Aug 29 with 13493 viewsaston_hoop

"give it to Neil Warnock until the end of the season" - When we lose a couple in November, every year without fail. Including this year I bet. He'll be long dead and people will still be saying it.

Poll: Moses Odubajo - Stick or Twist?

10

LFW Message Board Glossary on 18:46 - Aug 29 with 13437 viewsNorthLondonR

"Still waiting for my email Neil (slash Colin)"
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 18:50 - Aug 29 with 13370 viewsDavieQPR

We need to sign young,hungry players from the lower leagues. Also we should hire that ex player as coach.
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 18:51 - Aug 29 with 13390 viewsNorthLondonR

Shouldn't the actual title be...

'Bummed in the gob: An LFW Glossary'
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 18:55 - Aug 29 with 13332 viewsBluce_Ree

"Eze"

A sign that half the forum is about to w@nk itself to death because of something he's just done for Palace.

Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. He runs like a cheetah, his crosses couldn't be sweeter. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore.

5

LFW Message Board Glossary on 19:01 - Aug 29 with 13271 viewsMick_S

Bummed in the gob wins everything, ever. Nothing on any football message board gets near it.

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 19:03 - Aug 29 with 13262 viewsJamieNaz

"Water pressure in the toilets"
Whenever it's coming up to Fan's Forum time, someone will bring this up.
I would like us to also repeat the time someone went on at length about their son getting released. Would like to see Nourry talk about how said son didn't show enough human curiosity or problem solving acumen
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 19:08 - Aug 29 with 13208 viewsBeckenhamhoop

I know you’re busy but where the feck is that match report.
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 19:14 - Aug 29 with 13195 viewsNorthernr

Yeh I know, started feeling like death at the game on Tuesday and have been in bed ever since. Only been up and about last couple of hours this afternoon so will cobble some sht together now.
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 19:26 - Aug 29 with 13068 viewsBeckenhamhoop

This wasn’t meant as a dig at you! It was simply adding to the glossary of LFW phrases. Sounds like the COVID I had a couple of weeks ago. Knocked me out for 72 hours
[Post edited 29 Aug 19:28]
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 19:30 - Aug 29 with 13062 viewsSK_hoops

Charlie (first time round).
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