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Office Xmas parties 09:57 - Dec 7 with 7937 viewsDiscodroids

office xmas party last night

I can honestly say i'd rather be paralysed with GHB mainlined into my gooch laying on an offcut of MFI underlay in the basement of john wayne gacey's Ranch, while he's on the mooch for hairless puckered arseholes to violate, than go to another .

I'd rather be Hugh Grants walnut turned fleurs-de-lys strap-on plunging helplessley into some sundry Bronx prostitutes dirtbox like a f ucked chernobyl graphite rod , than ever go to another office xmas party. I've had more fun whacking me meatus between two B&Q sanding blocks.

Problem is , i only meet the people i work with a couple of times a year and then we are thrust into a room every december and told to socialise to a soundtrack of Greg lake and Jona louie while being plied with booze. It's like some crazed GDR social experiment at the Trabant works factory.

My hangover is so evil I threw up this morning for the first time since Terry mcCann had furry dice in his Mk2 capri. I've actually got the shakes like Nicholas cage in 'leaving las Vagas'. I'm shuffling about the house like a short eye nonce on E wing with the tea urn.

I just hurled back up two milk thistle tablets and My berroca drink. i'll probably still be processing the toxins for 3 months. My only task today is to take in the 11am shop from ocado. The thought of dealing with this seems gargantuan. Caught a reflection of myself in the mirror. look like Gene hackman on angel dust.



'er indoors is most impressed. Called me a 'peg toothed c unt ' before she left for work.

True Romance.

Think i'll give it a miss next year.

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edit; any tips for a hangover?
[Post edited 7 Dec 2023 10:11]

The Duke Of New York. A-Number One.

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Office Xmas parties on 10:01 - Dec 7 with 5877 viewsrobith

It's mine tonight - I've literally just gotten over covid so after 2 drinks I'm gonna be anyones.

Hangover tips - depends if it's a head hangover or a stomach one. Head - baby steps - some carbs, bit of sugar, plenty of water supped gently and you'll be back in the groove.

Stomach hangover- there's no cure and food is your enemy. You're done and just have to wait it out
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Office Xmas parties on 10:07 - Dec 7 with 5844 viewsDiscodroids

Good luck tonight mate. Hope it's a good one.

I can't even face food Rob or keep down water. As you say, just have to wait it out . I did think hair of the dog and poured myself a Mahou but it's still looking at me glass full . I'd rather drop an unlubed ker plunk stick down me japs eye than drink it.

Bloody office xmas parties. The dj was terrible as well.

The Duke Of New York. A-Number One.

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Office Xmas parties on 10:14 - Dec 7 with 5798 viewsSilverfoxqpr

Is Leadenhall still in one piece Glenn? Not a party as such but meeting 'the boys' in St Mary Axe tonight for 'Christmas beers'. I've all of a sudden gone off the idea. Hope you feel better mate and good luck with the Ocado delivery.
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Office Xmas parties on 10:15 - Dec 7 with 5789 viewsWatford_Ranger

Electrolyte tablets before bed. Not that commercialised Berocca nonsense. A proper sports nutrition one.
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Office Xmas parties on 10:18 - Dec 7 with 5759 viewskernowhoop

Do you think you may have drunk too much, Disco?
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Office Xmas parties on 10:23 - Dec 7 with 5735 viewsDiscodroids

I was in Shoreditch Tone. Everyone was dressed like thelonious monk and Dave Brubeck . I felt ancient. I don't enjoy it anymore. It was all too forced and i felt like the staff were under heinrich himmlers command to enjoy ourselves.

You'll be good tonight, just don't go too mad like i did. They didn't even play Bowie and Bing.

No fun.
[Post edited 7 Dec 2023 10:29]

The Duke Of New York. A-Number One.

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Office Xmas parties on 10:24 - Dec 7 with 5729 viewsDiscodroids

Excellent tip.

The Duke Of New York. A-Number One.

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Office Xmas parties on 10:24 - Dec 7 with 5725 viewsTheChef

We had ours last week but I missed it because there was a reunion of old work colleagues the same night which I preferred to go to instead.

Been in my current job just over a year - my current colleagues are all very nice but with hybrid working it's hard to get to know anyone that well (compared to my old colleagues where we saw each other every day five days a week). Plus I think I'm at the age and stage where I can't really be arsed making small talk for more than two minutes!

Poll: How old is everyone on here?

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Office Xmas parties on 10:29 - Dec 7 with 5712 viewsDiscodroids

yep. bloody daft , i just reached the point of no return. some bloke was talking to me about the skeletal structre of cedar trees and i lost the plot. not been this bad for a long time. Must have had 10 pints plus shots. Ridic.

The Duke Of New York. A-Number One.

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Office Xmas parties on 10:37 - Dec 7 with 5676 viewsTheChef

At your age and stage (if anything like me) I reckon that's about a week to recover.


Poll: How old is everyone on here?

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Office Xmas parties on 10:43 - Dec 7 with 5644 viewsDiscodroids

I was 56 in November. In my 30's i would have laughed in the face of this hangover with haughty arrogance, and got on it again by 11am.

Now at my age, i feel like Lenin 's corpse lying in state in red square. Got a tingling sensation in my left kidney as well which is a good sign.

The Duke Of New York. A-Number One.

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Office Xmas parties on 10:50 - Dec 7 with 5605 viewsTheChef

At least you know you're alive...

Poll: How old is everyone on here?

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Office Xmas parties on 11:04 - Dec 7 with 5548 viewsMick_S

Before bed, Mate.

Proper rizz 😂. I think.

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?

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Office Xmas parties on 11:09 - Dec 7 with 5517 viewsDiscodroids

Should have done mick , instead i crushed up half a dozen rennie and snorted it through a nesquick straw.
[Post edited 7 Dec 2023 11:10]

The Duke Of New York. A-Number One.

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Office Xmas parties on 11:14 - Dec 7 with 5495 viewsFDC

I'm missing ours tonight, down with some horrific virus. I'm gutted really, they're always terrible but I dig the frisson of getting hammered with people you don't usually drink with and for whom you've a years worth of pent up resentment
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Office Xmas parties on 11:47 - Dec 7 with 5391 viewshantssi

Mine’s tomorrow, not looking forward to it, mixing the office staff with the site lads never ends well!
I’ll go for the meal then make my get away!
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Office Xmas parties on 11:52 - Dec 7 with 5367 viewsjohnhoop

Commiserations Disco. Must say your Mrs certainly has a lovely turn of phrase.
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Office Xmas parties on 12:11 - Dec 7 with 5311 viewsDiscodroids

Tried ringing her this morning. Just goes to answer phone.

luckily she's flying out to Venice tonight for 3 days with her mates so her fury will probably abate a bit before she gets back and beats the shit out of me with her jonathon E rollerball glove.

Good luck to everyone going to their xmas do's tonight!. take heed from this poor soul who was demolished by 10 pints of Poretti and a dozen shots of tequila.

The Duke Of New York. A-Number One.

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Office Xmas parties on 13:24 - Dec 7 with 5099 viewsstevec

Must admit, I’ve hit the wall on good nights out. Much prefer a good afternoon out these days, preferably where I can get home in time for me dinner.

I’ll go out on boozy nights still but quietly reluctant, if I’m truthful. I’d say my drinking capacity dropped about 2 pints a decade. As such I can handle 2 pints these days, 3 at an absolute push. Above that I’m toast for at least 3 days.

Was meant to be out with some mates since school tonight but reading this thread I’ve thought ‘fck it, can’t be arsed’. Plus I’ve noticed the wife has got some mince in the fridge which she’ll no doubt make into some culinary masterpiece and I don’t want to miss out.

Funny thing getting old.
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Office Xmas parties on 13:36 - Dec 7 with 5054 viewsMick_S

Mmmmm - mince is something else, man. Feck me, that would send me straight out 😂

By the way, I’m doing cottage pie, as we speak.

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?

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Office Xmas parties on 13:41 - Dec 7 with 5037 viewshubble

The last time I attended anything remotely like an office Christmas party was when I went to the QPR.org shindig at The Springbok in late December 1997. As far as I can recall, the party consisted of me, Battletank, Coley, the bloke who funded the dotorg who was some kind of porn baron, and about four Scandi Rs who must have already been over for a match - I can't believe they were there just for the dotorg party. And a DJ.

The atmosphere was flat as a half-empty can of Carling that you find at a party and in desperation for some booze, swig the remains down, only to discover some cant's used it as an ashtray.

We drank steadily in an attempt to stave off the Pinteresque gloom, but failed, and the following morning I felt lower than a snake's belly.

Fortunately, I've never had to attend anything like that since :)

Good luck on the recovery Disco.

Poll: Who is your player of the season?

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Office Xmas parties on 13:57 - Dec 7 with 4969 viewsSimonJames

Very cold chocolate thick shake for hangovers.
[Post edited 9 Dec 2023 8:00]

100% of people who drink water will die.

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Office Xmas parties on 14:09 - Dec 7 with 4931 viewsJuzzie

Had ours a couple of days ago. Started at 1.30pm and I left at 8.30pm. A few pints, nothing heavy.
Quite good fun. The venue had loads of retro game machines and I managed to get all 5 top scores on Donkey Kong and, of course, the three letter initial on all was QPR.
I was crap on the N64 Mario Karts though!

Back in the day it would have been an early evening start and home by 2-3am. And anywhere between 8-12 parties each Christmas as our suppliers would take us out too.

Can't do that any more, I'm hanging after one of them!


[Post edited 7 Dec 2023 14:11]
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Office Xmas parties on 18:09 - Dec 7 with 4683 viewsLblock

I think your abstinence will last until Friday only then....

I was sort of press ganged into agreeing to go to mine.
Nobody was told where it was but we knew it would be some theme nonsense.
Turns out it's "Interactive Bingo".
My God...... what has my life come to.

I'm going to show face and laugh at the site boys trying to be all proper with the office mob and watch it all unfold horribly.
My real focus is on Friday week -- select few at Langams. Proper looking forward to that one.

Parr-rup-ah-pum-pum

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

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Office Xmas parties on 19:39 - Dec 7 with 4529 viewslave16

I had mine last week - took it easy all the feckin cameras and youngsters having to prove they had a good time on social media does my dome in. Gone are the days of sitting slagging each other off and having a bit of craic that isn't stored on a server somewhere like an 18- 30s series on sky. I have another one next week which will probably include forced dry conversations with people who would not give you the light of day in the office. Looking forward to it and the hangover like a dose of diarrhoea.

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