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The week before I emigrated to America in 1987 I was a passenger in a car that rolled over 3 times and had no seatbelt on . 2 weeks after I arrived in America I dived into a pool ,realized I could not swim and tried to put my legs down in 12 ft of water and would have drowned only for a girl dragged me out . 2 months later I was on a canoe trip and some fuc*er jumped into a couple and tipped mine over and I would have drowned again only for another girl saw it and jumped in to flip me right way up . 8 years later a plank I was working on collasped and I fell 18 feet and landed on my back on clay not concrete which was inches away. Almost married the wrong woman
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Ever Had a Close Encounter on 01:57 - Jun 10 with 4509 views
My house blew down around my ears once. The roof rolled up like a carpet, the walls in front of me sucked into outer space. Tried to hide the kids in the kitchen cupboards, charged our minds and took our chances and ran and hid in the car until that started to spin on its axis and we had to ditch that too. I've had better days.
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Ever Had a Close Encounter on 03:00 - Jun 10 with 4454 views
Is there a good place to be stabbed? Possibly in an operating theatre but not sure that counts.
Closest for me probably post the Milk Cup Final that never happened Stepped out in front of a bus as I wasn’t looking and mate grabbed me and stoped me moving another inch, the bus wing mirror clipped side of my head and the body of it brushed my clothes as it went past at about 30MPH. Sobered me right up that did. And no, I wasn’t suicidal at the result, that was just QPR innit.
Various building site near misses, a couple of nights of rave “excess”, few health scares and I’ve eaten in The General Smuts when the loosely arranged Caribbean BBQ was there.
Thankfully I married the right woman, she’s kept me straight and narrow
Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal
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Ever Had a Close Encounter on 07:21 - Jun 10 with 4258 views
I was nearly killed in the great storm of ‘87 - an old enormous old oak tree crashed into my house, specifically my bedroom. The only thing that stopped it literally carving my house in two and killing me was this young ash tree in front of it which took the brunt of the impact.
More recently, I was on the same tube as the Parson’s Green bomber, but got off two stops before at East Putney…
Can we not knock it?
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Ever Had a Close Encounter on 07:33 - Jun 10 with 4233 views
worked in a garden with a koi pond and a stream that appeared to run into it, but actually was piped underneath. We had flash flooding,the pipe was blocking and the water going directly into the pond, which was starting to flood, so I was unblocking the pipe, removed a big bit of wood, and the undertow dragged me into the pipe, up to my knees. I wasn't worried, tried to get out, and was sucked down further, so I wrapped my arms around a tree and hung in there. Eventually another gardener found me, went to get help, but told the householders i'd be gone before they got back to me. local firemen were on a call, basically i hung in there, with help, until the rain abated.
Which was nice.
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Ever Had a Close Encounter on 07:35 - Jun 10 with 4219 views
Like LBlock, a few building-site falls and near-misses. Couple of damn close calls in the car. Couple of bad scrapes while bouncing. Only this Sunday did I take a huge sceilp out my arm while somehow missing arteries and tendons.
But the closest was messing up a wave while surfing off Fuerteventura and getting mashed up as a result. I was under ninety seconds, down in the dark, had no idea which way was up and came very close to accepting my lot. Luckily I hit sand, and knew then to swim the opposite direction, and finally got to the air.
"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
Story I heard, you fell asleep in the bath Where's the place in Portugal with the terrifying waves? Would love to see them, from the shore only.
Edit - senior race day on the IOM TT today. I pray for a good days racing, and no more serious incidents. The road racing fraternity are a different breed from most of us.
[Post edited 10 Jun 2022 8:08]
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Ever Had a Close Encounter on 08:08 - Jun 10 with 4131 views
I am one lucky cat, I've definitely used up a few of my lives. had a stroke nine years ago, at a relatively young age as well, down to our wonderful NHS still here to annoy the fcuk out of you lot .
A few car accidents that were very close...
Then there was the time an acquaintance caught me in bed with whom he thought was the love of his life !
Very hard trying to sprint down the road a la Usain Bolt whilst retaining my modesty and a geezer with a hammer trying to stove my head in !
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Ever Had a Close Encounter on 08:25 - Jun 10 with 4089 views
When I was a teenager, me and my mates used to drink in country pubs rather than our local town and took it in turns to drive. My mate Andrew was driving us one time and was a real boy racer, terrifying us by barrelling down the narrow roads at an indicated 80mph.
He'd never been to the pub we were heading for but I had, and I warned him that he really needed to slow down because there was a very tight bend coming up.
As I recall, he did slow down, but only to about 50, and consequently, we screeched round the bend on the other side of the road. There was a tractor coming the other way, just 10 yards ahead of us. A harrowing experience (no pun intended)!
"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."
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Ever Had a Close Encounter on 08:27 - Jun 10 with 4076 views
I just remembered that dear, old dad (RIP) had one.
In his early days, he was a dog handler in the RAF and at one point, he applied for a glamorous sounding overseas posting.
They wouldn't let him go because his dog was female and those of all the other handlers who were going were male.
The posting was to Christmas Island, where all those nuclear tests took place back in the days when the risks were poorly understood and people blithely watched the explosions from close by.
"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."
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Ever Had a Close Encounter on 09:43 - Jun 10 with 3933 views
Couple of car crashes where the car was hit on my side. On both occasions the vehicles I were in were written off.
Changed plans and didn’t go to the gym one night and missed the King’s Cross fire as a result.
Worked with a guy as a student, who worked in the engine room of three successive ships that were torpedoed and sank in WW2; he was demobbed as a result and no, he wasn’t German either.
'Always In Motion' by John Honney available on amazon.co.uk
Rolled over on the motorway going to Luton, I was a passenger in the middle back and did not get a scratch.
1963 going down the Western Avenue in the rush hour on a Vespa scooter in torrential rain toward the Savoy East Acton aquaplaned and went sideways, managed to very slowly bring it straight again, luckily the traffic kept moving to give me the chance.
Exiting Miami airport the taxi driver said "hey guys that's the plane you came in on" the engine was on fire.
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Ever Had a Close Encounter on 11:20 - Jun 10 with 3754 views
Skateboarding down the gravel hill outside our house when I was 10.
At the bottom of the hill was the house, at the corner of the house was our bedroom window. Stone, somersault, through window, roll and landed back on my feet.
Not a scratch.
Big Brother, excitable as ever, is lying down on the bottom bunk. Doesn't even get up.
All he says is "is that my skateboard?"
"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
How the feck do QPR have any fans still living if this is sample of 'normal' life? I've had a very sheltered time in comparison. Closest to something potentially nasty was on New Year's Eve 1986. In Galway. Late for a party, barreling along in my first (and crapiest) car, coming to a T junction There was 6 ft stone wall the other side of the major road. The brakes failed completely , heading straight across the road for said wall, when I got smashed into on the passenger side by an on-coming jeep. Spun me around, demolished my car and I walked away without a scratch. Was VERY late for the party mind.
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Ever Had a Close Encounter on 12:58 - Jun 10 with 3560 views
Flew through a tree once in a hot air balloon. That was hairy. Going at quite a lick due to getting caught in a thermal, could quite easily have been speared or thrown out.
Bare bones.
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Ever Had a Close Encounter on 13:02 - Jun 10 with 3550 views
Hit by car wing mirror on the west way, lights changed whilst crossing & car come steaming up the outside lane, superficial injuries. Working in basement next to Bishopsgate IRA bombing, no one told the area was evacuated, got to above ground & the fcuker went off! Ears hurt a bit & legs bit wobbly. Crashed a motorbike into a wall went over handle bars & landed on top of a car in someone’s driveway, got scarred legs as a memento. Finally going to LR v Tranmere a few years back the underground train derailed, not life threatening but after the carriage filled with dust I looked like Al Jolson, never made game 1 -1 anyway, Yet to do plane crash or boating accident,
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Ever Had a Close Encounter on 13:22 - Jun 10 with 3499 views
Many moons ago me and some mates pulled these girls in a club in Chalfont, anyway they said we would go back to theirs to carry on the party , so we got in their Ford escort them in the front and us three In the back , they then proceeded to drive about 80mph down these country lanes not stopping at junctions, anyone who knows Chalfont will know you can’t see Jack down those lanes at night , the three of us in the back had stopped thoughts of getting our leg over and gave each other the “Oh Sh1t “ look, as we carried on down these lanes we caught up with another car who was just going about his own business, anyway these girls tried to over take him but the bloke suddenly turned right which meant we hit him right on the drivers side The girls then panicked and drove off , the bloke who they crashed into them starting chasing us and he himself was doing 80/90mph trying to get us The girl driving our car then lost control up a bend and we hit a tree head on My mate in the middle went flying into the front and my other mate broke his nose and smashed his face up as he went into the back of the passengers head in front Me I didn’t have a scratch Anyway the police turned up as well as the other fella chasing us The next part is surreal as the bloke we crashed into then pulled the two girls and gave them a lift home leaving the three of us in the middle of nowhere with broken noses and cracked heads
And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
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Ever Had a Close Encounter on 13:29 - Jun 10 with 3481 views
Choked on my own vomit one night when completely blotto about 30 years age but did not wake up at the time - the girl I was sharing a bed with rolled me onto my side and saved my bacon- if I had been on my own would have been curtains.
A lad I knew who was a legendary drinker worked one summer picking veg on a farm and one day the bloke next to him was hit by a sudden lightening bolt and killed instantly. The lad immediately became a born again Christian and never drank a drop again.
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