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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? 10:30 - Jan 31 with 7140 viewsKonk



I'm changing my name to Jizz Hornkamp, first thing on Monday morning. Such a great name.

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 10:47 - Jan 31 with 5698 viewsNorthernr

We will call the baby... Jizz.
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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 10:54 - Jan 31 with 5688 viewsDannyPaddox

I mention the Jizzster in a thread a while back (a thread on players with amusing names perhaps) and thought it would bring the house down. It didn’t seem to bat an eyelid and I thought to myself come on LFW once you’re tired of Jizz Hornkamp you’re tired of life. Great to see the lad get his own thread.
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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 10:58 - Jan 31 with 5680 viewsdistortR

"Maar dan is daar"

There can be no more then is there.
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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 11:02 - Jan 31 with 5670 viewsKonk

The dream scenario is Jizz getting called-up for the national side when they play Switzerland away. During the training session on the eve of the game, Jizz comes out onto the pitch with a ball bag slung over his shoulder at the Wan kdorf stadium. Just imagine.

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 11:07 - Jan 31 with 5654 viewsdistortR

We should sign him.
Jizz of the Rangers has a certain ring.
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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 11:13 - Jan 31 with 5645 viewsKonk

Sorry, Danny. I wasn’t trying to steal your thunder! A mate sent me that screenshot this morning after his heroics for Den Bosch, yesterday. Even his club works brilliantly with his name. Mind you, it works with a few Dutch clubs:

Den Bosch - Jizz!
Go Ahead - Jizz!
Excelsior - Jizz!
PEC Zwolle - Jizz!

Great name. Good spot, Danny.
[Post edited 31 Jan 2021 11:16]

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 11:14 - Jan 31 with 5638 viewsKonk

There’s a lot of interest in jizz. If you could pull it off, that would be quite something.

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

1

Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 11:18 - Jan 31 with 5624 viewsNorthernr

Orlando City have a Randy Mendoza we could use to form a pretty potent right sided partnership with him.
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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 11:21 - Jan 31 with 5619 viewsDannyPaddox

England v Holland international. Hornkamp flying down the wing until a certain England midfield player comes piling in. Commentator: ”You can clearly see Maguire is all pumped up there and just look at his facial expression as he sends Jizz flying into the stands. Not a pretty sight Geoff”
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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 11:35 - Jan 31 with 5593 viewsdistortR

Oh, they keep coming.........!
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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 11:40 - Jan 31 with 5585 viewsdistortR

just looked at wiki, to see where he plays and if he needs someone mopping up behind him.
Anyway, someone's had fun - "The event caused Jizz to erupt all over twitter"!!
Konk?
[Post edited 31 Jan 2021 11:40]
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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 11:44 - Jan 31 with 5567 viewsNorthernr

QPR Twitter has had quite enough of that this weekend
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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 11:46 - Jan 31 with 5563 viewsCliveWilsonSaid

Dave Seaman in goal, of course.

Poll: Expectations for this season?

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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 11:58 - Jan 31 with 5533 viewsdavman

Beat me to it...

Met a girl in a pub watching an England game back in the day; she was quite knowledgeable about all things football so I saw the opportunity to get the gag doing the rounds at that time in and asked if she preferred Seaman or Flowers - needless to say her answer proved that there was no come on "actually I prefer Nigel Martyn".

Jizz is a great name, but I am still in full disbelief that anyone could possibly be called Nortei Nortei, which is likely to remain my fave name of all time.

Can we go out yet?
Poll: What would you take for Willock if a bid comes this month?

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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 14:46 - Jan 31 with 5430 viewsMrSheen

I was reading an obituary of Hughroy Currie, who was briefly British Heavyweight Boxing Champion in the 80s. It mentioned he had beaten a Zimbabwean champion called Proud Kilimanjaro, which is a pretty good name. However, it was put in the shade by one of Proud’s early opponents, according to Wikipedia, Jukebox Timebomb.
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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 18:01 - Jan 31 with 5349 viewsDorse

Come on: Bongo Christ has to be in contention for the top spot.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 21:22 - Jan 31 with 5258 viewsaston_hoop

I hope one day Jizz Hornkamp gets to work with German manager Christian Titz

Poll: Moses Odubajo - Stick or Twist?

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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 22:53 - Jan 31 with 5209 viewsnumptydumpty

We have had a few dodgy characters - Doo doo and Shittu in the same team...

Normally we just in the doo doo or just simply Shittu

But can't remember ever when we have jizzed our hornkamp !!!!

Walking in a "Mackie Wonderland"
Poll: Where will we finish next season ???

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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 01:19 - Feb 1 with 5161 viewsFredManRave

It would appear "your" Jizz came too soon.

I've got the Power.
Poll: MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 08:48 - Feb 1 with 5114 viewsDorse

Some interesting items here:

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2007/apr/11/theknowledge.sport

'...However, it would be remiss of us to ignore Anthony Philip David Terry Frank Donald Stanley Gerry Gordon Stephen James Oatway - Charlie to his friends ("I'm named after the QPR 1972-73 promotion-winning team for those of you that have been on the moon all the time I've been at [Brighton]") - or three of our favourites: Australian keeper Norman Conquest, Seychelles star Johnny Moustache, and Congolese striker Bongo Christ.'

Funnily enough, further down the page is a reference to Kevin Gallen being friends with stroppy mancunian gloom-merchant Morrissey. Who knew?

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 08:56 - Feb 1 with 5098 viewsMrSheen

Proud Kilimanjaro story here.
https://www.newzimbabwe.com/kilimanjaro-africas-forgotten-heavyweight-champion/

He remains an icon of Zimbabwe’s ‘golden age’ of boxing, a former goalkeeper who attracted record attendances in ramshackle venues to watch him beat rivals named Black Tiger, Jukebox Timebomb, Captain Marvel, George Foreman (no, not that one) and Ringo Starr (no, definitely not that one).
[Post edited 1 Feb 2021 8:58]
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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 09:00 - Feb 1 with 5085 viewsPhildo

No way Dykes and Jizz would play together







I'll get my coat
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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 09:04 - Feb 1 with 5071 viewsDorse


'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 09:05 - Feb 1 with 5068 viewsMetallica_Hoop

I always liked Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink.

He sounds like a general in the 80 Years War or a wizard in 'The Witcher.'

Beer and Beef has made us what we are - The Prince Regent

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Jizz Hornkamp - best footballer's name of all time? on 09:05 - Feb 1 with 5067 viewsAshdown_Ranger

Jizz used to a goalkeeper, but was awful - he could never keep clean sheets.
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