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A bloke arrives at a nightclub, but the bouncer says he can't come in without a tie.
There's no way he can get hold of tie at that time of night, so he nips back to his car and gets a pair of jump leads, wraps them around his neck and goes back to the club.
"Can I come in now?' he asks.
The bouncer replies, "Yeah - but don't start anything."
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Corny Joke Warning on 11:45 - Aug 31 with 12445 views
Albertos Y Lost Trios Paranoias used to introduce a lot of their songs on stage with variations of that joke: She was only a pilot's daughter but she had a nice cockpit. She was only an officers daughter but she had plenty of the sergeants mess in her. She was only a Morse Code operators daughter but she did it, did it, did it, did it... She was only a policemans daughter but if he knew what she was up to she would cop it.
The grass is always greener.
1
Corny Joke Warning on 09:14 - Sep 2 with 11958 views
So I was in a hardware shop and I said to the guy "What gets rid of grime and stains?" He said "Ammonia cleaner." I said "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here."
The grass is always greener.
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Corny Joke Warning on 19:55 - Sep 2 with 11722 views
Prince Charles visits Burnley, wearing a fox-fur hat. While shaking hands, the Mayor says, "Lovely to have you here Your Royal Highness, but if you don't mind me asking, why the hat?" Charles says "Actually, it was Camilla's idea. I told her I was going to Burnley, and she said wear the fox hat!"
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We don't care what the paper say, we're gonna pogo 'til we drop