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So, what do you do 01:36 - Feb 27 with 4329 viewsBoston

...that drives your wife / other half, spare? Me, loads of stuff. Mrs Boston finds my culinary expertise when cooking piles and friggin piles of lamb chops, then sitting down and sucking the bones dry, triflingly annoying. When she's not saving the planet and fighting for sheep rights, I'm perfecting my recipe for mint sauce.
[Post edited 27 Feb 2017 1:39]

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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So, what do you do on 09:58 - Feb 27 with 3823 viewsLongsufferingR

My wife tends to get rather annoyed at me sleeping with her sisters.

Never understood that.
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So, what do you do on 10:01 - Feb 27 with 3816 viewsfreddieeddie

Breathe.

Hence the separation.

Poll: QPR future, what would you like to see happen

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So, what do you do on 10:08 - Feb 27 with 3795 viewsloftboy

Don't know what I did to irritate mine but it must have been.bad as she fúcked off up north with another bloke 14 months ago!

favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
Poll: Are you watching the World Cup

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So, what do you do on 10:12 - Feb 27 with 3774 viewsMick_S

Flicking peas at Good Morning Britain and Loose Women.

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?

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So, what do you do on 10:32 - Feb 27 with 3730 viewsToast_R

Apparently I leave water all over the Kitchen having done the washing up and water all over the bathroom after the three S's. This is true.
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So, what do you do on 11:13 - Feb 27 with 3680 viewshopphoops

Say things "with that voice" and look at her "in that way".

Whereas she just screams at me like a prolapsed banshee.
[Post edited 27 Feb 2017 11:14]

A magnificent football club, the love of our lives, finding a way to finally have its day in the sun.
Poll: When will the next election date be announced?

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So, what do you do on 12:20 - Feb 27 with 3588 viewsWokingR

If she forgets something just throw in the expression
"One job, you had one job"

It's like firework night
The kids love it.
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So, what do you do on 12:22 - Feb 27 with 3579 viewsKonk

Talking with my mouth full and picking food out of my teeth. At the birth of our son, my wife had asked me to bring some Ginger Nuts along for some sugary energy — I was starving, so whilst she was giving birth, I was bent down by the side of the bed, hoping she couldn’t see me picking biscuits out of my teeth, and because I didn’t want to annoy her by chomping loudly or talking with my mouthful, I sat there quietly eating the biscuits rather than offering quite as much encouragement and support as I might have done. Obviously I could have just knocked the biscuits on the head, but I was really hungry. I drank her Orange San Pellegrino drink too, which hasn't been forgotten. Oh, and when we’re sat next to each other on the sofa, she often has a pop about me whistling out of my nose…which no-one else seems to have ever noticed. I think that’s about it — she’s a wonderful woman.
[Post edited 27 Feb 2017 12:28]

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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So, what do you do on 12:29 - Feb 27 with 3553 viewsMick_S

So, what do you do on 12:22 - Feb 27 by Konk

Talking with my mouth full and picking food out of my teeth. At the birth of our son, my wife had asked me to bring some Ginger Nuts along for some sugary energy — I was starving, so whilst she was giving birth, I was bent down by the side of the bed, hoping she couldn’t see me picking biscuits out of my teeth, and because I didn’t want to annoy her by chomping loudly or talking with my mouthful, I sat there quietly eating the biscuits rather than offering quite as much encouragement and support as I might have done. Obviously I could have just knocked the biscuits on the head, but I was really hungry. I drank her Orange San Pellegrino drink too, which hasn't been forgotten. Oh, and when we’re sat next to each other on the sofa, she often has a pop about me whistling out of my nose…which no-one else seems to have ever noticed. I think that’s about it — she’s a wonderful woman.
[Post edited 27 Feb 2017 12:28]


Quality mate.

Konk's got Talent.


Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?

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So, what do you do on 12:36 - Feb 27 with 3528 viewsKonk

So, what do you do on 12:29 - Feb 27 by Mick_S

Quality mate.

Konk's got Talent.



I don't whistle out my nose, though! I've asked loads of people to listen and no-one else can hear anything, so she's either got amazing hearing or is imagining the whole thing. Either way, I don't think you can really ask someone to stop breathing because it's annoying you.

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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So, what do you do on 12:43 - Feb 27 with 3502 viewsderbyhoop

Read Loft For Words.

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the Earth all one's lifetime." (Mark Twain) Find me on twitter @derbyhoop and now on Bluesky

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So, what do you do on 12:45 - Feb 27 with 3494 views2Thomas2Bowles

So, what do you do on 12:36 - Feb 27 by Konk

I don't whistle out my nose, though! I've asked loads of people to listen and no-one else can hear anything, so she's either got amazing hearing or is imagining the whole thing. Either way, I don't think you can really ask someone to stop breathing because it's annoying you.


I don't think you can really ask someone to stop breathing because it's annoying you.

Apparently it's a common request on both sides!

When willl this CV nightmare end
Poll: What will the result of the GE be

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So, what do you do on 12:46 - Feb 27 with 3486 viewsLongsufferingR

So, what do you do on 12:36 - Feb 27 by Konk

I don't whistle out my nose, though! I've asked loads of people to listen and no-one else can hear anything, so she's either got amazing hearing or is imagining the whole thing. Either way, I don't think you can really ask someone to stop breathing because it's annoying you.


Worth watching from 3:00 onwards -

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So, what do you do on 12:47 - Feb 27 with 3483 viewsKonk

So, what do you do on 12:45 - Feb 27 by 2Thomas2Bowles

I don't think you can really ask someone to stop breathing because it's annoying you.

Apparently it's a common request on both sides!


Exactly - I've spelled out the implications, but she seems pretty adamant about it.

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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So, what do you do on 12:49 - Feb 27 with 3472 viewslondonscottish

So, what do you do on 12:43 - Feb 27 by derbyhoop

Read Loft For Words.


LOL. I get that all the time. If she sees me online doing anything she rolls her eyes and says sarcastically "Oh, I suppose you're loft for words again".

Never mind that she's just spent 90 minutes on Facebook talking to bollx to people on there that she never actually meets face to face.

Oh, wait..

Poll: Do you love or hate the new Marmite ad?

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So, what do you do on 12:54 - Feb 27 with 3449 views2Thomas2Bowles

So, what do you do on 12:47 - Feb 27 by Konk

Exactly - I've spelled out the implications, but she seems pretty adamant about it.


Ask her to do it with you, so you can bond

When willl this CV nightmare end
Poll: What will the result of the GE be

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So, what do you do on 13:22 - Feb 27 with 3380 viewsstevec

So, what do you do on 12:43 - Feb 27 by derbyhoop

Read Loft For Words.


Ha Ha. Yeah, my wife is always nagging me about reading LFW.

She once said 'can't you watch porn like a normal bloke?'
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So, what do you do on 13:33 - Feb 27 with 3339 viewsHantsR

Breaking wind in front of her ... sorry dear, didn't realise it was your turn.
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So, what do you do on 14:39 - Feb 27 with 3245 viewslondonscottish

So, what do you do on 13:22 - Feb 27 by stevec

Ha Ha. Yeah, my wife is always nagging me about reading LFW.

She once said 'can't you watch porn like a normal bloke?'


Fc*king brilliant.

Poll: Do you love or hate the new Marmite ad?

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So, what do you do on 14:48 - Feb 27 with 3223 viewslondonscottish

Actually one thing I do that drives my wife mental is to have a shower just before leaving on a long car journey. My logic is that if I'm about to drive to Scotland of the South of France or set off on some 10 hour combo of cars/trains/planes to get somewhere hot I'd rather not start off with sweaty bolls and stinking pits. And having a 10 minute shower is taking a 10 minute shower. It's no faster if I do it eaarlier.

Meanwhile I'm waiting for my wife to finish packing her bag. Which she only ever does 2 miliseconds before our departutre time. As it's only slightly smaller that the Hindenberg it has to go in the boot first. Cue my wife looking angrily at the pile of other cases and bags on the pavement and angrily asking me "What have I been DOING" and blaming in all on the fact that I had a late shower.

This has been going on for 16 years. It's like being in the Somme.

Poll: Do you love or hate the new Marmite ad?

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So, what do you do on 15:13 - Feb 27 with 3191 viewsJuzzie

1) Not putting the dinner in the fridge.

2) Forgetting 'International Woman's Day' each year. It's 8th March and I can't forget this year!

3) Having things like tools, spare coolant & washer fluid bottles etc in the back of my car that 'take up room in the boot'.

4) Eating noisily.


[Post edited 27 Feb 2017 15:22]
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So, what do you do on 15:26 - Feb 27 with 3152 viewsFredManRave

I never answer any land line call. If anybody I know wants to contact me they can do so through my mobile. If they haven't got my mobile number, there's a reason for that. This means that cold calls, call from friends of the wife and calls from the wifes family never get answered by me.

It particularly annoys her when she's indoors busy doing whatever it is she does and I still don't answer the call and yesterday she got extremely pissed off because it was her calling as my mobile is acting up at the moment. "Why the f'in 'ell didn't you answer any of the calls. I just don't understand. More than likely it will either be my family calling or me yet you never answer any call!". She's so sweet when she doesn't understand.
[Post edited 27 Feb 2017 15:27]

I've got the Power.
Poll: MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

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So, what do you do on 15:37 - Feb 27 with 3133 viewspaulparker

leave the toilet seat up
wear her fluffy dressing gown
wear her slippers
take a bite out of something then put it back in the cupboard/fridge

but then on the other hand she uses my razor im always finding long hairs everywhere
like the bathroom, my pillow, and even stuck up my arse oh and my sock & pants go missing on a regular basis

And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles Brian Moore

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So, what do you do on 16:27 - Feb 27 with 3054 viewsPunteR

Where do I start?.

Yeh LFW pisses her right off. Especially if we're walking round tescos or something.
Leaving my work clothes and pants behind the door in the bathroom is another one ,and leaving bits of tools, screws, Stanley blades on my pockets of my work trousers which are usually found rattling about in the washing machine.
My driving.
My music
My vinyl
Not getting the house finished.
Not getting the garden finished
Not liking her new mates.
Not listening to her or whatever..
Calling all our children's friends the wrong names..
Not remembering our children's birthdays, our anniversary..
Etc etc.
She loves me really.

Occasional providers of half decent House music.

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So, what do you do on 16:43 - Feb 27 with 3030 viewsFredManRave

So, what do you do on 16:27 - Feb 27 by PunteR

Where do I start?.

Yeh LFW pisses her right off. Especially if we're walking round tescos or something.
Leaving my work clothes and pants behind the door in the bathroom is another one ,and leaving bits of tools, screws, Stanley blades on my pockets of my work trousers which are usually found rattling about in the washing machine.
My driving.
My music
My vinyl
Not getting the house finished.
Not getting the garden finished
Not liking her new mates.
Not listening to her or whatever..
Calling all our children's friends the wrong names..
Not remembering our children's birthdays, our anniversary..
Etc etc.
She loves me really.


At least she doesn't complain about your drinking...

I've got the Power.
Poll: MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

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