| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 810937 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:43 - Feb 15 with 9935 views | Esox_Lucius |
"And next on stage ladies and gentlemen, our star billing; The Subtractors"
"Take it away boys". |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:47 - Feb 15 with 9810 views | Myke |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:43 - Feb 15 by Esox_Lucius |
"And next on stage ladies and gentlemen, our star billing; The Subtractors"
"Take it away boys". |
I used to love tractors but I have gone off them completely
I guess I'm an ex-tractor fan | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 18:58 - Feb 15 with 9801 views | Boston |
I once had a tractor with wooden wheels, wooden gear box and a wooden engine.
It wooden work. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:15 - Feb 16 with 9638 views | welwynranger |
I decided to take a short cut through the forest on my way to the golf course.
I tripped over on a large branch and all the clubs fell out of the bag.
I lost half of my clubs because I couldn't see the woods for the trees. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 15:12 - Feb 16 with 9578 views | Sonofpugwash |
I waited two weeks for a GP appointment only to be told acupuncture is no good for pins and needles. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:12 - Feb 16 with 9574 views | Boston |
Will Storm Dudley be bringing Moore wind and rain? | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:44 - Feb 20 with 9326 views | Boston |
When in Paris don't jump off any bridges.
They'll lock you up for being in Seine. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:38 - Feb 27 with 9130 views | Myke |
So I asked my students to give me a sentence with 'centimetre' in it, as the school like to combine numeracy with literacy. One kid puts up his hand and says 'My aunt flew into Knock Airport yesterday and my dad was sent to meet her' | | | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:56 - Feb 27 with 9022 views | Boston |
Man returns from a shopping trip and proceeds to put away his purchases. His wife notices a pack of condoms, labelled the Olympic brand. "Why are they called, Olympic", she asks? "Because they're made in three colours", he replies, "gold, silver and bronze". "Oh, and what colour are you intending to wear tonight", she enquires? "Gold of course" says man. "Really" she said, "why not wear the silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change". | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:46 - Feb 27 with 8991 views | Boston |
I failed my biology O Level.
Apparently Scousers are not the most common thing found in cells. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:51 - Mar 1 with 8794 views | acricketer |
Someone threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me!
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 01:00 - Mar 3 with 8597 views | Boston |
I was driving through Boston this morning when I rear ended someone. Fair shunt it was as I'm driving a loaded construction truck and the other vehicle was a low budget economy car. Anyway, I hop out to apologize and meet the other driver, who is approximately 4' 6" tall and examining his dented bumper. "I'm not happy" he says, "oh yeah", I replied, "which one are you then"? | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:40 - Mar 6 with 8300 views | Esox_Lucius |
I got job at a wholesale meat factory moving huge joints of ham.
I’m a pork lift truck driver. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:36 - Mar 6 with 8220 views | Boston |
A funny incident....I was in a local liquor store (Offy), yesterday and an attractive young lady of south east Asian heritage was serving me. I knew she was attractive because the face mask she was wearing hung down under her jawline. Seeking to get into conversation I cracked the, 'nice chin hammock you've got there', which produced laughing from her Caucasian colleague but a look of confusion from the lass in question. She sort of stared, so I repeated my apparently poor witticism, again the person working beside her laughed, then her expression changed as she copped the joke. She ha ha'd, then informed me her last name was Chin, which had the whole queue behind me chuckling. [Post edited 6 Mar 2022 20:37]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:11 - Mar 6 with 8184 views | johann28 |
Long queue in Moscow for basics. People starting to get tetchy.
Fk g Putin, says one, it's all his fault. Warmongering tw*t. I've had enough, i m going to save lots of lives and fkg kill him. He storms off to great applause.
An hour or so later, he's back. Did you kill Putin?? They ask, sceptically.
No, he says, downcast. That queue's even longer than this one! |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:41 - Mar 6 with 8117 views | Boston |
Why, when being castigated for a lack of bottle, do we commonly tell people to grow a pair?
I mean, testicles ain't exactly tough, one whack and we're out of action for half an hour!
Let's face it, if you want to be able to take a damn good pounding, you should be growing a vagina. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:18 - Mar 9 with 7901 views | johann28 |
Sad news. The guy who invented Velcro died.
RIP. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 23:18 - Mar 9 with 7784 views | Myke |
| Corny Joke Warning on 18:18 - Mar 9 by johann28 |
Sad news. The guy who invented Velcro died.
RIP. |
Bought a beaver -gonna call him Clint Eatswood | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:15 - Mar 10 with 7635 views | Esox_Lucius |
Priti Patel has been named as Goalkeeper for all England's future matches. An FA spokesman said she will never let anything in and no-one wants to score with her. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:33 - Mar 10 with 7532 views | acricketer |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:22 - Mar 11 with 7363 views | Myke |
Went into my local signwriters shop and ordered a six foot high 'A', a six foot high 'S' and a six foot high 'K' and told him I needed them by Tuesday. He said he would see what he could do, but it was a big ask. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:24 - Mar 11 with 7360 views | Myke |
I just compiled a 'to do' list and it's 22 pages long. It's my oughtobiography | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:34 - Mar 12 with 7192 views | Myke |
If you thought Bing Crosby was good, imagine how much better Google Crosby would be? | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:41 - Mar 13 with 7013 views | dannyblue |
Why did REM split up? Because the rest of the band just weren’t Michael’s type |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:21 - Mar 14 with 6850 views | Esox_Lucius |
Do you know what makes a Pirate very angry?
When people take the P out of him. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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