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i was a typical scrap of east end fluff with a basin haircut in a lee majors tracksuit playing football all day round the back of the prefabs and plashet park. Scuffed knees. Snotty Nose. Bed Bugs. Esso Blue parrafin heaters.
I was headbanging to the 'weekend world' theme tune When my posh aunty marjorie from her penthouse in gidea park comes round to our crumbling, mouldering newham council slum midden in east ham, with her husband, (a Hugh lovegrove jenkins ffs ), bearing gifts for the Co Op stamp mob.
I set my eyes on this huge present , and tear into it like a dead eyed smackhead full of want into a liberated pensioners purse, ravenous for a Muhammad Ali blow up boxing punchbag , a 'Superstriker,' a David Nixon magic hat , a 'Superflight deck' ..even a tommy cooper fuc king golf set.
but no, the chiffon and brushed denim habitat Guardian reading w ankers gave me a fuc king wicker chair. a wicker chair to a football mad 10year old from the east end.
the bastard thing wouldn't have looked out of place Suspended from agent derek flints ceiling. I burst into tears , which was probably the wicked fuc kers intentions.
At least It hasn't marked me in anyway at all.
As for the best Xmas present, it would have to be 'Merlin' , 'rebound', 'Simon' and best of all 'Crossfire' , which you cound detach from the game board and shoot ball bearings at your sister while she watched 'Little house on the prairie'
[Post edited 8 Dec 2023 18:48]
The Duke Of New York. A-Number One.
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Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 03:48 - Dec 9 with 1257 views
One of my favourite Christmas presents of all time as a kid was a Big Trak, essentially a big lumbering programmable vehicle that really you only used to annoy the dog and fire its cannons.
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Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 08:27 - Dec 9 with 1158 views
Worst Christmas present as a kid, but best as an ageing old fart are socks.
You only realise in December how handy socks actually are and how lazy you are to buy them during the year - so for me this is both a terrible and fantastic Christmas Gift.
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Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 01:06 - Dec 10 with 936 views
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 20:10 - Dec 8 by Silverfoxqpr
Mention of the Weekend World theme tune has completely distracted me from the task in hand as requested in the thread Glenn but fcuk it the Mrs is out with 'the girls' and I'm two beers in so lets go on a Nantucket Sleighride......
Think it was 1977 I got my TCR set, happiest lad on my council estate in Aldershot.
I'm teaching myself to play that on the guitar. Get back to me in 2078, I might be able to churn out a reasonable rendition. The last six notes, ending with the big slide, are iconic.
My Godfather got me an interesting present one year: One twenty-sixth of an encyclopedia , the volume for the letter M as I recall. I'm not sure if that choice was in some way significant. I'm still waiting for the other twenty-five volumes to turn up.
He treated my brother and I equally and said sibling was as bemused as I was when he received a yahtzee starter set. It consisted of the score pads. Rather unhelpfully, no dice were included.
My Godfather was a gynaecologist and didn't marry until quite late in life, when he got hitched to...another gynaecologist. Their "How was your day, dear?" conversations must have been rather colourful
"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."
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Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 10:21 - Dec 10 with 861 views
One year, back in the early 2000s, my gran was clearly going mental,the decline had begun. Wrapped up for my sister underneath the tree was a 3-pack of G strings and a tin of tuna....I guess she was saying my sister was a bit 'loose' or maybe yeah had just lost her marbles a bit as to be fair my sister did like tuna..and like most people she wore underwear. Don't think she had done the mad granny thing of wrapping up items from her own cupboards as I'm pretty sure they were not her G strings.....she would never of fit into them so they couldn't of been.
Personally I think my gift wasn't so insulting as I got boxer shorts and mudflaps for a Ford KA(a car which I didn't even own)
Merry Christmas Gran you old legend...God Bless
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Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 10:42 - Dec 10 with 841 views
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 20:23 - Dec 8 by Discodroids
Me and you tone. lets dance together in the mine field. i think might have to ring you up.
as for political tv theme tunes ; just incredible. cold war, Khmer rouge, JohnBindon, asbestos, joseph mengale, Miners strike..it had it all..
Wow that really did have it all as far as TV intros go, haunting stuff....I actually like it I think? The music, the imagery, what does that say about me? Got me thinking now about the TV intro things, especially from that era....
Although watching that has reminded me my estranged Mother sent me a QPR goalie top with 1.SOMMER on the back one Christmas....I really hated Jurgen Sommer and wasn't a big fan of the yellow ViewFrom Goalie kit nightmare and I definitely didn't like that it was a size XL Mens(I was about12 and built like a whippet that was past its best)also didn't like it as it was from her and she was now living it up with Richard and his several car dealerships and gold bracelets the cNuNt!
Best gift was the Raleigh Street Wolf loved that thing, rode the tyres until they were almost as bald as my dad.
Best I do nowadays....I dunno alcohol I guess..I know a friend who this year eadily has got the best Christmas present ever, one I'm jealous of, his wife and 3 kids just flew out yesterday to Latvia(she's from there and going home for christmas)and wont be back till 5th JAN, but he couldn't go because of 'work'....what a lucky lucky man....he must of been very good this year!
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Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 12:01 - Dec 10 with 813 views
As far as fantastic presents go, my top three were: - 3rd place: World Cup Striker: I loved it, especially the diving goalkeepers - 2nd place: Battling Tops: All the male members of the family got into that and it brought out a fiercely competitive streak in one and all - 1st place: Sure Shot Ice Hockey https://hockeygods.com/system/gallery_images/20587/normal.png?1658034762 A game of skill but also one in which you could really let off steam and absolutely leather the "puck" (a marble). We played it regularly for years until the little plastic players succumbed to wear and tear, sob 😭
"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 11:59 - Dec 9 by Spaceman_P
I think we can all agree one one thing.
Worst Christmas present as a kid, but best as an ageing old fart are socks.
You only realise in December how handy socks actually are and how lazy you are to buy them during the year - so for me this is both a terrible and fantastic Christmas Gift.
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, the volume for the letter M as I recall. I'm not sure if that choice was in some way significant. I'm still waiting for the other twenty-five volumes to turn up. 
