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I thought there must be some mistake, given the size of the news and all the talking points around it, that this latest Daily Chewlsea (or The DC, as Jack has started to call it) was only 1.41 long. As it turns out, they did well to stretch it to even that!
I think they’re all probably still trying to work out what their reactions should be. They bang on about players not looking like they care, boring football, bad signings, no plan B, picks favourites, doesn’t pick young players, poor morale…but publically, none of this is Jose’s fault. It’s all the physio, Costa and Fabregas. Secretly, I reckon half of them are quite happy. They can all act indignant about the sacking, pledge undying love for the bloke, whilst also now being quietly optimistic that they might get a point off Sunderland. Poor old Rory, though, I genuinely hope he's not too sad today. Probably on the sofa, under his Chelsea duvet with his Mum spoon feeding him a bowl of Sugar Puffs to keep his energy up, whilst his Dad's on the phone out in the hall, trying to get hold of a Doctor.
Louis on the other hand, will be screaming abuse at people out of the window of his Dad's cab, parked up on his parent's drive in Arnos Grove, whilst repeatedly head-butting the horn and screaming, "Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?". Our thoughts are with the Chelsea community at this difficult time.
I think they’re all probably still trying to work out what their reactions should be. They bang on about players not looking like they care, boring football, bad signings, no plan B, picks favourites, doesn’t pick young players, poor morale…but publically, none of this is Jose’s fault. It’s all the physio, Costa and Fabregas. Secretly, I reckon half of them are quite happy. They can all act indignant about the sacking, pledge undying love for the bloke, whilst also now being quietly optimistic that they might get a point off Sunderland. Poor old Rory, though, I genuinely hope he's not too sad today. Probably on the sofa, under his Chelsea duvet with his Mum spoon feeding him a bowl of Sugar Puffs to keep his energy up, whilst his Dad's on the phone out in the hall, trying to get hold of a Doctor.
Louis on the other hand, will be screaming abuse at people out of the window of his Dad's cab, parked up on his parent's drive in Arnos Grove, whilst repeatedly head-butting the horn and screaming, "Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?". Our thoughts are with the Chelsea community at this difficult time.
We really ought to send something a) to comfort Louis and Rory b) to thank them for the free comedy Perhaps some sort of joint qpr fulham fans award thing -i was thinking a rugby figurine with a resemblance to Kerry Dixon superglued to a die-cast black taxi -one of those collectors ones on a little black plastic stand.
BTW the butchers who work next door to my office are vocal old style chelsea (so haven't been able to afford to go for 15 years) and at present about one car in three on the high street is slowing down to shout abuse at them. i thought it would have let up by now but no...
I know he's gone all interviewer / producer now but lets not forget the legend that is Younesh @@@QPR fans. You disgrace me. @@@ Younesh is the Elvis Presley of Chelsea fan cams....
We really ought to send something a) to comfort Louis and Rory b) to thank them for the free comedy Perhaps some sort of joint qpr fulham fans award thing -i was thinking a rugby figurine with a resemblance to Kerry Dixon superglued to a die-cast black taxi -one of those collectors ones on a little black plastic stand.
BTW the butchers who work next door to my office are vocal old style chelsea (so haven't been able to afford to go for 15 years) and at present about one car in three on the high street is slowing down to shout abuse at them. i thought it would have let up by now but no...
That’s a lovely idea, Phildo. Maybe for the end of season, once we’ve seen a bit more of their work, but the trophy sounds great. Let’s make this happen.
Christmas present wise, I thought this would be nice for Rory:
For Louis, I thought we could get him one of these for his Mum & Dad’s back garden. Like a Wendy house for when he mates come round. He can sit in there with his friends pretending to make each other bacon sarnies and cups of splosh:
Failing that, one of these, so he can bowl around town with it hanging out on display:
Stop press, this one is great. Tongue slightly too big for his mouth unfortunately but I feel that only adds to the attraction.
That bloke is brilliant! I feel very, very bad because he clearly has a speech impediment, but he is amazing. At first I thought he was Norwegian royalty or something, but now I think he’s just posh English; it’s just the way he talks. He’s great. I had to stop half way through because I was cracking-up laughing and blatantly not listening in to a conference call. He is fu cking ace.
The best thing about these interviews is it confirms that virtually everyone who supports Chelsea, is indeed a complete and utter pilchard. Genius.
Clive — these Chelsea channels are addictive viewing — I’m losing hours of my life watching their angry, confused, babbling outrage.
Has anyone checked on Louis this morning? Louis is volatile. He’s unstable. I’m worried about Louis — he’s not good at coping with disappointment and I think Mourinho’s sacking could push him over the edge. My favourite thing about Louis is that he’s essentially a 20 year old bloke who seems to have modelled himself on the persona and wardrobe of a middle-aged North London cabbie. Either that or his old man’s a cabbie and then we get into a nature/nurture debate. And if he gets this angry about Chelsea, don't get him fu cking started on cyclists and speed cameras.
Great exchange in this video: “If I say shoot for every time I said it this season, I’d be a millionaire” - “I think we all would be!” Eh?!
With the other presenters, they’re all massively thick, and that girl is really, really annoying, but I’m warming to Rory because he’s so dim it’s quite charming. I just want to give him a cuddle, a Stamford the Lion cuddly toy, and tell him it’s all gonna be okay. I think he’s probably a nice lad at heart. Just misguided.
I know he's gone all interviewer / producer now but lets not forget the legend that is Younesh @@@QPR fans. You disgrace me. @@@ Younesh is the Elvis Presley of Chelsea fan cams....
He's the talent behind the talent. Wandering round with his camera proving to be the biggest idiot magnet on the planet. If I'd seen the videos a few years ago, it would completely have changed how I felt about losing to that mob.
That bloke is brilliant! I feel very, very bad because he clearly has a speech impediment, but he is amazing. At first I thought he was Norwegian royalty or something, but now I think he’s just posh English; it’s just the way he talks. He’s great. I had to stop half way through because I was cracking-up laughing and blatantly not listening in to a conference call. He is fu cking ace.
The best thing about these interviews is it confirms that virtually everyone who supports Chelsea, is indeed a complete and utter pilchard. Genius.
If you do have that speech impediment though, probably best to think of a different catchphrase than 'same old story'.
Louis for new manager absolute bell end how un grateful for all the trophies they have won they were nearly bankrupt the problem is they will start winning now with JM gone
'I love the sense of danger you bring to every waking moment. You always reminded me of the most popular boy at school: people would do anything to be his friend'
I would imagine they have someone permanent lined up in order to assess and review before the window opens.
Yep, and Megson has said he's up for the challenge. He says his previous experience in relegation dogfights will stand him in good stead.
RFA
PS: That is an exclusive. You heard it here first.
"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."
These videos.... The poor little loves, the worst time at the club for their whole ten years of support and they're crying because they're getting beaten by teams that contain players they haven't heard of.
What a bunch of weapons. I'm gonna start calling Stamford Bridge 'The Armoury'
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