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Want to know how many players we're still short after three solid years of multi-million pound transfer deals? Want to know how difficult it's going to be at Burnley on Saturday? Want to know what a good team Sheffield United are and how many Premier League teams they've beaten recently? You're in the right place. We're sort of live from 9.45ish.
In he comes, bold as brass, rubs his hands together, says good morning to Andy, takes a massive slurp of tea. And it's live.
Errrrm not sure about injuries. One or two knocks. See how we go this morning. Looking at it out there we're struggling, the groundsman says the pitch is under water, we've got a ten yard strip to train the team on. We haven't got anywhere else to go. It's a problem. Not ideal is it? Everytime it rains they get flooded (excuse #1) we'll have to see how it goes in an hour or so. (Joe Jordan walks past with a bucket with a hole in it swearing loudly)
We've taken Zarate on loan. Hope he does well for us. Bags of ability. Lovely fascist. Loves his mum. Not close to doing anything else at the moment.
What Sam said, at the moment he's got Valencia, Carroll, the boy Sakho is it? Scoring for fun. And Carlton Cole. I can see where Sam is coming from (unplesant image), my situation is different, 've got Charlie and Bobby Zamora, different when you have four. I've got two. We need him to make an impact.
Difficult to spend big money in January. We bought some in during the summer, now we're looking for loans. When you sign in January on loan you're taking gambles. If you're signing Bony from Swansea you're not taking a gamble, he's top quality, he's £25m. If people are loaning them out there's a question mark, you don't loan him out unless there's a reason. (He's not happy). You don't loan players out at this time of year. It's an absolute gamble.
I'd take Salah on loan, I don't think he's available on loan, I'd never thought about him until you just mentioned him there.
Tough game. Big game. Burnley came up last year. Leicester ran away with it, Burnley chased em, we came up through the play offs. They're a good outfit.
Sean has done an amazing job with them, difficult game, we've got to be ready, it's a big game for us, really looking forward to it, we have to start picking up away from home.
Danny Ings an outstanding player, came from Bournemouth. Vokes came from Bournemouth. Vokes scored against Tottenham. They're both from Bournemouth. I've watched them develop. Both good players. Bournemouth.
Ings is in Under 21s doing well, great if they did, not up to me, up to somebody else.
Sky's wnk off question is about Ched Evans, thinly veiled.
people make dreadful mistakes in life, go in prison, murdered somebody or whatever, a lot of them come out, some of them you wouldn't want to see come out, once you've done your time you've done your time, at some point you've got to come out and make a go of your life. If the lad is a footballer what does he do? If he works in a supermarket people will say there's rapist at the supermarket. Has to have a chance in life somewhere doing something. Lad who drunk drove wiped a family out back playing, another killed a guy and fled the scene back playing, what does he do with his life? Got to go somewhere and work. Has to carry on with his life. Difficult. Lots of issues.
No opinion on the growing financial crisis in the EU. Have to speak to the chairman, I don't deal with the money.
Ajax lad? Sigurdsson, Sigthorson, Sigbordson, I don't know, he's Icelandic. (actual quote) That was a while ago. Nothing at the moment.
Not involved in Charlie's contract. Don't know where we're at. I don't deal with that.
We're all down there scrapping away trying to stay in. Lots of them. Played Villa, Palace, Leicester, West Brom at home, had a big run, it went well for us. Now got to get points away from home against these teams.
It's an advantage for them now, playing at home, everybody would rather play at home. We need to up our away form, if we don't it's going to be difficult.
Both teams know each other, we came up with Burnley, they know us, we know all about them. At the end of the day it's about good players. No magic formula to winning the game. PLayers have to be at their best.
Sandro is coming on. After the Man Utd game there's a break (otherwise known as FA Cup fourth round day) and he'll hopefully be back at Stoke.
I made a lot of changes, changed the way we played, it didn't work. I've got players coming back this week. It's not a case of getting a response, the players have been excellent. I can't get any more out of them. If you said you can have 19 points at this point I'd have taken that. Not disapointed with where we are. We've got the best out of the players and you can't get any more.
I don't blame the lads who came in, we tried something new, it didn't work.
It's difficult to know what will keep us up. Just got to keep picking up points and see where we end up. Sighs. Seems bored.
The training ground is waterlogged apparently. The dome over the pitch is not available today, somebody pulled the pin out and its deflated. We'll have to go out and splosh through the puddles. We're training whether they like it or not.
We're looking at loans. You can only have two from this country so we haven't got a lot up our sleeve. We'll see what we can do.
Cue the dry ice, strike up the band and pray silence please for Kevin Bondy Bond.
This post has been edited by an administrator
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Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - 'Arry's pre-Burnley 'presser' on 09:58 - Jan 8 with 6029 views
What's happening over at the Lane ? How good is Dyche as a manager ? Is Ings good enough to step up from the Under 21s to the full England squad? What does he think about the chaos at London Bridge station every evening this week? What's his favourite Mamas & Papas song ? Has he ever been salmon fishing in the Yemen ? Can he balance a pint of beer on his head ? How about opening a pickled onion jar with his teeth?
I'm only interested in the important stuff as you may have guessed.
0
Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - 'Arry's pre-Burnley 'presser' on 10:03 - Jan 8 with 5989 views
I pray for at least one tough searching question that rankles him but it won't happen. This is the time of year Candle Face and the Press engage in mutual masterbation
Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal
1
Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - 'Arry's pre-Burnley 'presser' on 10:19 - Jan 8 with 5900 views
Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - 'Arry's pre-Burnley 'presser' on 10:03 - Jan 8 by Lblock
Any tea being slurped yet?
I pray for at least one tough searching question that rankles him but it won't happen. This is the time of year Candle Face and the Press engage in mutual masterbation
not a single manager gets asked a searching question at any of these press conferences. All of them are a complete waste of time, if ever a difficult question is asked the journalist gets banned
0
Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - 'Arry's pre-Burnley 'presser' on 10:37 - Jan 8 with 5716 views
Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - 'Arry's pre-Burnley 'presser' on 10:19 - Jan 8 by daveB
not a single manager gets asked a searching question at any of these press conferences. All of them are a complete waste of time, if ever a difficult question is asked the journalist gets banned
Post MOTD highlights Harry Interview Premonition
"Well it was 'ard wannit. I mean it rained on Weds night and all frew the day on Fursday again and the pitches was flooded. We couldn't train properly nor nuffing. Joe was asking did I want the players doing 200m sprints or 200m breaststroke out there. They're used to it rainin' up in aint vey. So we couldn't do the work we needed to do"
"What Shaun Wright? - Yeah I fink he is at home again now and is alright, I think he was amblin after a pass and he was out in the middle of the worst flooded bit and went in to far and got in trouble. But Bondy knows the old mouf to mouf and im and the physio brought him back - I fink the 'ospital was just a precaution, so we was short on the bench and I add to look at putting anuver youngster on the bench so that we did not waste the train ticket on the way up you see."
"It's not a case of getting a response, the players have been excellent. I can't get any more out of them."
Well then Harry, you're either not a very good coach or you've spent two years, four transfer windows and an obscene amount of money putting together a poor squad.
4
Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - 'Arry's pre-Burnley 'presser' on 11:49 - Jan 8 with 5361 views
Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - 'Arry's pre-Burnley 'presser' on 11:41 - Jan 8 by nadera78
"It's not a case of getting a response, the players have been excellent. I can't get any more out of them."
Well then Harry, you're either not a very good coach or you've spent two years, four transfer windows and an obscene amount of money putting together a poor squad.
I don't think the squad is that bad. Sure it has had injuries but the planning has been terrible from a management perspective.
We go up with one good striker and one hero/crocked veteran striker.
We get no other strikers but we do get a loan of Vargas, who like many foreign players, probably take a good season to adjust, if they ever do, to the climate and level of pace of football here. We then tell him he's a winger, which must have been news to him.
We have Hoilett and Phillips. Phillips has never played at this level to any extent and looks like a good Championship player and perhaps a sub option and Hoilett is relentlessly played down the left wing where he cannot cross from the byline because he can't kick with his left foot. So everyone knows he has to cut in. We don't have a right winger who has the guile and brain to put in the crosses.
We have no supply to the 2 strikers we have so they feed on scraps, we have no playmaker in the middle to link up play since we lost Faurlin. We have Fer so we play him as a wide left midfielder rather than a central playmaker, because at the moment he is the best option in that position. He too is right footed.
We then bring in Mutch and he doesn't know what position he is meant to be playing or why. But play him at a Lampard style midfielder through the middle and he may do something and come good. But the policy is to have him floating around somewhere behind the strikers or over on the right. Neither position he knows.
Our one left wing player, Traore, who can occasionally cross with his left foot we play at left back where he is hopeless or we put him on the left wing as an emergency filler, when he hasn't played competitively for weeks and looks totally off the pace and clueless. We also could recall Andrade, who despite only being in his 20s can cross with both feet. God forbid we consider that.
We have needed more strikers for 2 seasons and done nothing about it, apart from Hitchcock, who, being under 30 we shipped out as soon as he dared to score a goal on his debut.
We then have Sandro who has regularly won the Matty Rose award for injuries for about 3 seasons. Undoubtedly a good player but a massive risk when that is the player you are depending on to shore up the midfield.
So, are we getting the best out of our players? Not really. I am surprised we don't play Charlie in goal. I thought we were when McCarthy missed the cross at the weekend and Charlie was our deepest line goal line marking defender.
If we can't cross to the forwards we need to play a diamond formation and play through teams with strength and pace. We have half of that.
For me we have nothing at all going down the left. So we need a dedicated left footed left winger who can cross. We need to play Mutch/Fer in areas that they are used to rather than this strange self zonal positioning they seem to have.
We need two more strikers to vary the attack options and style. Okay, we have Zarate, so we need one more. Do these strikers have to be outcasts from fellow Prem clubs, no. We have proven that with Charlie and whilst Harry says where do you get strikers from, then there are a few at least in lower divisions with the ability to make the step up. Better we look for English strikers because they don't have to settle here, get used to the weather, they just have to get up to the pace and touch at this level.
So, bottom line, look at talent in the lower divisions and play what you do have in the positions the players are designed to be in.
I still don't understand why we're obliged to sign every tempermental forward we can on loan but must never ever play Taarabt. Half-surprised we didn't go for Ben-Arfa on loan too.
otherwise ust the usual. Increasingly confused as to what Harry actually does control at QPR
“The thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football.â€
1
Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - 'Arry's pre-Burnley 'presser' on 12:45 - Jan 8 with 5101 views
What an awful press conference devoid of anything motivational:-
Players can't train - no way around this? Get them indoors watching videos of the opposition maybe?
Players doing their best - seriously Harry? we have been awful for a few weeks now, absolutely awful since we beat WBA. Who is doing their best and on top form right now? I would say maybe Rob Green and Caulker. Nobody else at the moment.
Zarate is a gamble, he's right there, but does he know what he's going to do with him? Doesn't sound like it - just sounds like he's another name to go into Harry's magical starting 11
Our midfield is the worst in the division, by an absolute mile. Who is responsible? Not the man who's spent millions building it?
We tried something "new" that hasn't worked? The same something that didn't work at the start of the season, namely 5-3-2/3-5-2 with Rio and wing backs. Doesn't work, clearly. Stop trying it every now and then.
I'm sick of the Man. He hasn't got a clue.
No system or style of play after 2 years in charge and 4 transfer windows. This isn't football management.
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Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - 'Arry's pre-Burnley 'presser' on 12:48 - Jan 8 with 5078 views
'It's an advantage for them now, playing at home, everybody would rather play at home. We need to up our away form, if we don't it's going to be difficult. '
It won't be difficult to 'up our away form' it is beyond terrible!
Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - 'Arry's pre-Burnley 'presser' on 12:36 - Jan 8 by Jigsore
The boy Zarate, loves his Fuhrer, top top player.
I still don't understand why we're obliged to sign every tempermental forward we can on loan but must never ever play Taarabt. Half-surprised we didn't go for Ben-Arfa on loan too.
otherwise ust the usual. Increasingly confused as to what Harry actually does control at QPR
Taarabt isn't playing because he's been pretending to be injured for 2 months
0
Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - 'Arry's pre-Burnley 'presser' on 12:52 - Jan 8 with 5044 views
Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - 'Arry's pre-Burnley 'presser' on 12:18 - Jan 8 by bosh67
I don't think the squad is that bad. Sure it has had injuries but the planning has been terrible from a management perspective.
We go up with one good striker and one hero/crocked veteran striker.
We get no other strikers but we do get a loan of Vargas, who like many foreign players, probably take a good season to adjust, if they ever do, to the climate and level of pace of football here. We then tell him he's a winger, which must have been news to him.
We have Hoilett and Phillips. Phillips has never played at this level to any extent and looks like a good Championship player and perhaps a sub option and Hoilett is relentlessly played down the left wing where he cannot cross from the byline because he can't kick with his left foot. So everyone knows he has to cut in. We don't have a right winger who has the guile and brain to put in the crosses.
We have no supply to the 2 strikers we have so they feed on scraps, we have no playmaker in the middle to link up play since we lost Faurlin. We have Fer so we play him as a wide left midfielder rather than a central playmaker, because at the moment he is the best option in that position. He too is right footed.
We then bring in Mutch and he doesn't know what position he is meant to be playing or why. But play him at a Lampard style midfielder through the middle and he may do something and come good. But the policy is to have him floating around somewhere behind the strikers or over on the right. Neither position he knows.
Our one left wing player, Traore, who can occasionally cross with his left foot we play at left back where he is hopeless or we put him on the left wing as an emergency filler, when he hasn't played competitively for weeks and looks totally off the pace and clueless. We also could recall Andrade, who despite only being in his 20s can cross with both feet. God forbid we consider that.
We have needed more strikers for 2 seasons and done nothing about it, apart from Hitchcock, who, being under 30 we shipped out as soon as he dared to score a goal on his debut.
We then have Sandro who has regularly won the Matty Rose award for injuries for about 3 seasons. Undoubtedly a good player but a massive risk when that is the player you are depending on to shore up the midfield.
So, are we getting the best out of our players? Not really. I am surprised we don't play Charlie in goal. I thought we were when McCarthy missed the cross at the weekend and Charlie was our deepest line goal line marking defender.
If we can't cross to the forwards we need to play a diamond formation and play through teams with strength and pace. We have half of that.
For me we have nothing at all going down the left. So we need a dedicated left footed left winger who can cross. We need to play Mutch/Fer in areas that they are used to rather than this strange self zonal positioning they seem to have.
We need two more strikers to vary the attack options and style. Okay, we have Zarate, so we need one more. Do these strikers have to be outcasts from fellow Prem clubs, no. We have proven that with Charlie and whilst Harry says where do you get strikers from, then there are a few at least in lower divisions with the ability to make the step up. Better we look for English strikers because they don't have to settle here, get used to the weather, they just have to get up to the pace and touch at this level.
So, bottom line, look at talent in the lower divisions and play what you do have in the positions the players are designed to be in.
It ain't rocket science.
[Post edited 8 Jan 2015 12:18]
Great post and sums it up.
All that said one thing I do agree with from Arry's presser is being happy with 19 points at this stage. We can point to games where we should have taken more points but overall it's not too bad considering the amount of players out of position and no plan to win away from home.
0
Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - 'Arry's pre-Burnley 'presser' on 13:15 - Jan 8 with 4938 views
It's not a case of getting a response, the players have been excellent. I can't get any more out of them...We've got the best out of the players and you can't get any more."
What utter utter rubbish!
There is no way whatsoever that all of our players are playing to the best of their abilities. That is absolute b*llocks. Surely EVERYONE can agree with that?!
And, if you can't get anymore out of the players, Harry, why are we continuing to employ you?!?
If that's not justification for removing him I don't know what is! He's admitting this is as good as he can get them. So, if we want to improve at all, he's basically admitting we'd need to employ someone else to manage them.
I know he's making that statement to make out like our squad is weak and he needs more players (it's always more players), but honestly, what absolute cr*p to say they we can't get any more out of these players! Redknapp might not be able to do, but I'd wager practically any other manager worth his salt could very quickly.
The guy is a dinosaur and a moron. He needs to go. I pray we win on Saturday, but he still needs to go.
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Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - 'Arry's pre-Burnley 'presser' on 13:19 - Jan 8 with 4913 views
He went to MK Dons where he failed to score in 8 games following which he was loaned to Fleetwood Town, where he finally managed to get one goal in 6 games.
On all the evidence so far mid League 1 at best is his level.
Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - 'Arry's pre-Burnley 'presser' on 12:18 - Jan 8 by bosh67
I don't think the squad is that bad. Sure it has had injuries but the planning has been terrible from a management perspective.
We go up with one good striker and one hero/crocked veteran striker.
We get no other strikers but we do get a loan of Vargas, who like many foreign players, probably take a good season to adjust, if they ever do, to the climate and level of pace of football here. We then tell him he's a winger, which must have been news to him.
We have Hoilett and Phillips. Phillips has never played at this level to any extent and looks like a good Championship player and perhaps a sub option and Hoilett is relentlessly played down the left wing where he cannot cross from the byline because he can't kick with his left foot. So everyone knows he has to cut in. We don't have a right winger who has the guile and brain to put in the crosses.
We have no supply to the 2 strikers we have so they feed on scraps, we have no playmaker in the middle to link up play since we lost Faurlin. We have Fer so we play him as a wide left midfielder rather than a central playmaker, because at the moment he is the best option in that position. He too is right footed.
We then bring in Mutch and he doesn't know what position he is meant to be playing or why. But play him at a Lampard style midfielder through the middle and he may do something and come good. But the policy is to have him floating around somewhere behind the strikers or over on the right. Neither position he knows.
Our one left wing player, Traore, who can occasionally cross with his left foot we play at left back where he is hopeless or we put him on the left wing as an emergency filler, when he hasn't played competitively for weeks and looks totally off the pace and clueless. We also could recall Andrade, who despite only being in his 20s can cross with both feet. God forbid we consider that.
We have needed more strikers for 2 seasons and done nothing about it, apart from Hitchcock, who, being under 30 we shipped out as soon as he dared to score a goal on his debut.
We then have Sandro who has regularly won the Matty Rose award for injuries for about 3 seasons. Undoubtedly a good player but a massive risk when that is the player you are depending on to shore up the midfield.
So, are we getting the best out of our players? Not really. I am surprised we don't play Charlie in goal. I thought we were when McCarthy missed the cross at the weekend and Charlie was our deepest line goal line marking defender.
If we can't cross to the forwards we need to play a diamond formation and play through teams with strength and pace. We have half of that.
For me we have nothing at all going down the left. So we need a dedicated left footed left winger who can cross. We need to play Mutch/Fer in areas that they are used to rather than this strange self zonal positioning they seem to have.
We need two more strikers to vary the attack options and style. Okay, we have Zarate, so we need one more. Do these strikers have to be outcasts from fellow Prem clubs, no. We have proven that with Charlie and whilst Harry says where do you get strikers from, then there are a few at least in lower divisions with the ability to make the step up. Better we look for English strikers because they don't have to settle here, get used to the weather, they just have to get up to the pace and touch at this level.
So, bottom line, look at talent in the lower divisions and play what you do have in the positions the players are designed to be in.
It ain't rocket science.
[Post edited 8 Jan 2015 12:18]
I was going to say that. All of that. Just like that. Thanks bosh.
Strong and stable my arse.
2
Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - 'Arry's pre-Burnley 'presser' on 13:48 - Jan 8 with 4806 views